A Single Mums Journey

Chicken Pox or Not Chicken Pox that is the question.

So this one started when I had a night out on Saturday the 29th it was an amazing night filled with fun and great friends but I had my 5 month old with me so I had to still be responsible but still had to many drinks to drive the next morning when my ex wanted me back to take over with the kids. I informed my ex I was not ready to drive and he would have to bring the kids out to my friends lifestyle block which he did and I was very thankful.

When the kids got to my friends house they wanted to go out and play in the chicken pen which I thought was fine. They held the chickens and played around for quiet a long time having fun.

The next day was Halloween and I was super excited to take the kids in to town in there little outfits for some trick or treating which was put on by local businesses. When my 6 year old boy took off his school clothes he was covered in small pimply spots which was such a concern there were all over his tummy and down his legs. I called the doctors straight away because I was concerned it would be chicken pox and wanted to be prepared due to having my 5 month old. When we finally got seen by a doctor he confirmed it was chicken pox and then prescribe treatment to help with the itch.

That was all okay I informed my friends that I was told my son had chicken pox and to be aware for there children. My son and daughter both had spots by that night so I thought I was sure that’s what I was dealing with. But they did not have any other signs I kept them home from school to be responsible but they were going stir crazy had so much energy weren’t having fevers or anything and were just acting like there regular selves. Within 24 hours my daughter spots were gone and she was not itchy at all. This is the first thing i found strange I thought chicken pox lasted longer and got worse before getting better. With in 24 hours my son spots were less aggravated and where starting to lighten in color and he was no longer itchy but he still had spots so I kept him home. By Wednesday some of his spots had disappeared this is when I questioned if it was chicken pox at all and did some research to fine out that mite or lice bits can look like chicken pox but go away faster with no symptoms. Then Thursday morning more spot were gone and was absolutely fine so I decided that he was going to be okay and do not believe I was dealing with Chicken pox at all.

The Stress I felt thinking that what i was dealing with was real I was so concerned for the baby and didn’t want to see my kids sick anymore. I feel like this was my second big challenge within the month but we got through and I now feel stronger then ever that I can do this on my own it hard very hard but when you take everyday as it come and just try it can be absolutely amazing what you can achieve.

I am starting to love been a Single mum its hard but my kids make it so worth it I could never live my life without them. Everyday we all achieve something together and the bond we are forming is like no other.

Since my ex left at the start of the month all I can say is I feel like I have been constantly challenged by the universe if I have the strength to do this on my own.  This is my first challenge.

On the 20th of October I went to the bus stop to get my kids from the bus and could see my daughter was not well she walked off the bus then collapsed on the grass saying she was tired and didn’t want to walk home I didn’t think much of this at the time because she had a late night the night before with fighting going to bed. But I still felt maybe something was up. She came home and went straight to sleep so I left her hope she would come right after a sleep but that was not meant to be. By 11 she woke up and had a very high temp of 38.7 so I got her in a shower and gave her Panadol doing everything in my power to bring her temp down. This is the first time I felt fear as a single parent I didn’t know if I would have to take her to hospital and wake the boy and all get in the car. I tried to contact her dad who is currently still in town until he moves and he didn’t answer his phone was off. I managed to get her temp down and in the morning the vomiting started. I called the doctors and managed to get her into see someone they said her tonsils were swollen and ears a little read but thought it was viral gave her medication to try and stop the vomiting and Panadol to help with her temperatures.

All Saturday it was on and off she wouldn’t keep anything down the temps only came down when she had medication on board and during the night she woke up with 39.3. I was very lucky my exs mum came up to give me a hand and stay with me to get me through this first sickness. On Sunday we both agreed my daughter was not getting better and she was so weak so I took her to the hospital. They gave her throat a swab but said the same thing take her home hopefully it will sort itself out. Sunday afternoon my ex’s mum took my big boy up to his aunties to have a night away and he returned Monday morning. On Monday which was a public holiday my ex’s mother went home but I kept feeling something wasn’t right. So I ended up taking her to the doctors on call I felt like if it was what I kept getting told she would be getting better but she wasn’t. I had to get all three kids in the car to take them down and try juggling while waiting for the doctor to see my daughter the boy were board but they got through it.

Finally the doctor came into the room and examined by daughter and then it was found my daughter had tonsillitis  both ears infected full of puss and conjunctivitis. I felt relieved that I had an answer but so mad that they didn’t pick it up before hand. What would of happened if I didn’t keep pushing it could of gotten so much worse. But she was prescribe the right medication and in a few days started to become right. I am so happy I stick to my guns I hate to think what could of happened to her if I didn’t considering a young boy died of case of misdiagnosed viral  thing the doctors not picking up tonsillitis and he got sepsis and that was on the news the Monday I took by daughter back in.

For the week my daughter was recovering my ex’s mum came back to give us a hand and I was so incredible grateful. But I also learnt something about my self I may of had a little help but even if I didn’t I was going to be okay I know my children better than anyone and I am Willing to fight no matter what for them.

As a MUM trust your instinct you know when something not right believe in yourself you will do what’s right for your children. But also the fear I felt doing it with my ex for the first time was very real but I know I can this was just my first Hurdle.

 

On Monday the 3rd of October 2022 was the day my ex officially moved out of the house. This was also the day we decided to tell our children about what was happening. In the morning my ex had to go to work and still wasn’t home by 4 in the afternoon.  I struggled for the full day knowing what was coming. I allowed my children to play with the next door neighbors to keep them happy and distracted from mums stress. I spent the day trying to go over in my head what to say how to go about this, I just wanted to make it as easy as possible but I also knew that they were not going to take it well. While my older children was playing I would hold my baby and cry every now and then not wanting to hurt my children.

It came to around 4pm and I decided I could not wait any longer for my ex to get home and ask my two older children to come home, they tried to bring their friends home with them because they still wanted to play but I explain to the young ones that I needed to have a secret talk to my kids trying to make it fun so they didn’t expect anything. After the next-door neighbors left it was time to do one of the hardest things I have ever had to.

I ask my children to join me on the lounge room floor and cuddled both of them one in each arm and told them I had something very important to tell them. I started with how much mummy and daddy really loved them and that would never change. Then told them that sometime adult relationships change and that daddy has decided that he need to live in a different house because he decided that he just wanted to be mummy’s friend and didn’t love her the same anymore. I told them that his decision did not change the love that he had for any of them and that he would always still be there anytime they needed him and I would never stop them accessing there dad if they wanted to talk to him.

My daughter broke down in tear saying how it wasn’t fair and daddy was not allowed to leave, at this point I also started to cry and held them tight. She got so upset and said does that mean the baby will grow up in the house with out a daddy. I had to explain that the baby would always have a daddy but it would be different for him from them because he would grow up with mummy and daddy in different homes but still very loved by both. I had to explain that it was nothing that either of the kids have done that sometime adult grow and change and that they should never blame them selves because adult feeling change.

My older boy got angry and was very much like we don’t need him and can I stay with you mum I don’t want to leave you. I was like of course you will stay with me daddies job is very time demanding and he wouldn’t have the time to look after you the way I can but he will still always be there. After about ten minutes it changed and he started to cry which felt like it broke me a little more he was like “I don’t want daddy to leave this isn’t fair” and just held me so tight.

There was a lot more to the conversation and free to reassure them that dad would always be here even though he didn’t live with us. When their dad finally came home I said to the kids if there was any questions or if they wanted to tell him how they felt that it was a safe place to do so and would be very good for them. They both bombarded him with questions and he handles it pretty well and told them the same that he would always be there for them.

I still felt like my heart was breaking and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do I felt like I crushed my kids that day but knew that now was the time I had to get stronger my ex moves out that night and I knew that it was my time to be there 100% and help my children to heal and help them get use to the new family home without there dad the best I could.

I still think about I should of been patient and waited till my ex got home or maybe I could of said something different but I also know I can not change what happen and it is just time to move forward with our new life and adventures.

TIME FOR THIS MUMMA TO GET STRONGER AND BE THE BEST POSSIBLE MUM AND SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR MY 3 AMAZING CHILDREN.

I know it will not be easy but I will give it my all.