On Monday the 3rd of October 2022 was the day my ex officially moved out of the house. This was also the day we decided to tell our children about what was happening. In the morning my ex had to go to work and still wasn’t home by 4 in the afternoon. I struggled for the full day knowing what was coming. I allowed my children to play with the next door neighbors to keep them happy and distracted from mums stress. I spent the day trying to go over in my head what to say how to go about this, I just wanted to make it as easy as possible but I also knew that they were not going to take it well. While my older children was playing I would hold my baby and cry every now and then not wanting to hurt my children.
It came to around 4pm and I decided I could not wait any longer for my ex to get home and ask my two older children to come home, they tried to bring their friends home with them because they still wanted to play but I explain to the young ones that I needed to have a secret talk to my kids trying to make it fun so they didn’t expect anything. After the next-door neighbors left it was time to do one of the hardest things I have ever had to.
I ask my children to join me on the lounge room floor and cuddled both of them one in each arm and told them I had something very important to tell them. I started with how much mummy and daddy really loved them and that would never change. Then told them that sometime adult relationships change and that daddy has decided that he need to live in a different house because he decided that he just wanted to be mummy’s friend and didn’t love her the same anymore. I told them that his decision did not change the love that he had for any of them and that he would always still be there anytime they needed him and I would never stop them accessing there dad if they wanted to talk to him.
My daughter broke down in tear saying how it wasn’t fair and daddy was not allowed to leave, at this point I also started to cry and held them tight. She got so upset and said does that mean the baby will grow up in the house with out a daddy. I had to explain that the baby would always have a daddy but it would be different for him from them because he would grow up with mummy and daddy in different homes but still very loved by both. I had to explain that it was nothing that either of the kids have done that sometime adult grow and change and that they should never blame them selves because adult feeling change.
My older boy got angry and was very much like we don’t need him and can I stay with you mum I don’t want to leave you. I was like of course you will stay with me daddies job is very time demanding and he wouldn’t have the time to look after you the way I can but he will still always be there. After about ten minutes it changed and he started to cry which felt like it broke me a little more he was like “I don’t want daddy to leave this isn’t fair” and just held me so tight.
There was a lot more to the conversation and free to reassure them that dad would always be here even though he didn’t live with us. When their dad finally came home I said to the kids if there was any questions or if they wanted to tell him how they felt that it was a safe place to do so and would be very good for them. They both bombarded him with questions and he handles it pretty well and told them the same that he would always be there for them.
I still felt like my heart was breaking and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do I felt like I crushed my kids that day but knew that now was the time I had to get stronger my ex moves out that night and I knew that it was my time to be there 100% and help my children to heal and help them get use to the new family home without there dad the best I could.
I still think about I should of been patient and waited till my ex got home or maybe I could of said something different but I also know I can not change what happen and it is just time to move forward with our new life and adventures.
TIME FOR THIS MUMMA TO GET STRONGER AND BE THE BEST POSSIBLE MUM AND SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR MY 3 AMAZING CHILDREN.
I know it will not be easy but I will give it my all.